finally! hahaha. my blogger's back to normalllll

but, im not very happy now.
got scolded by my piano teacher today.
sigh.
and to think i practiced for 2 hours before going.

and today's piano lesson was so weird.
my teacher kept talking abt her process fm being a MEP student to becoming a world reknowned musician and den becoming a piano teacher.

she kept saying that i cannot give up, must jiayou, cannot be lazy with practices..
yeah, and how hard the music industry will be.
but the thing is, i mean.
i dun intend to go into the music industry.
at all.
wait.
lemme correct that.
music industry as in..
like the classical music scene.
yeah.
im not into that kinda music.
and besides, even if i do get into a music faculty or wadever,
i wont major in piano.

and i just realised sth.
Berklee college isnt as reputable for it's music faculty as we all think it is.
just cuz our dear lihom came from there, doesnt mean they're that good.
but i think lihom was alr talented when he entered berklee,
so now,
berklee aint my goal

i always thought that to get into the pop music scene, u have to go thru music college..
get ur master's..
ur degrees..
but.
look at rainie yang..
fahrenheit?
F4?
5566?

jaejoongie?
xiah??
yunho??
micky??
max changmin??

or any SUJU members?

or for goodness's sake, BoA.
they werent fm any respectable music colleges..
yet, they got into the music industry..
got famous.
and the works.

i feel cheated.
but anyways,
this few months, i dunno why, but i keep thinking about my future.
im usually the kind of girl who doesnt care about anything..
esp not my future.
i think short distance.
i dun think far ahead,
neither do i plan.

but thats only wad i THINK i usually think.
cuz i realised, it was me all along,
getting myself into so many activities..
joining this,
joining that.
so as to enrich myself to work towards my goal.
but im just thinking,
wad if, wad if..
after all that,
i still dint achieve my goal?
then wldnt all my efforts go down the drain?

and i always question myself
"lydia, are you as good as you think? issit good enough? are YOU good enough?
are you even fit to ever achieve your dreams?"

but then there are always certain ppl in my life cheering me on towards my goal.
i really dunno whether or not to hug and kiss them, or to scold them for making me have wishful thoughts that i am able to do it.

but whatever the case is, i thank ya'll for putting ur trusts in me(=

haha. u noe wad?
i just realised sth.
if it was somebody who dint noe ALL my frens, and that person read this.
he/she'll be thinking
" is this girl mad? who does she think she is? she sounds like she has a fan club or sth."

hhaha. but u noe wad?
its true(=
i do have a fan club(=
they're always cheering me on..
giving me encouragement..
doing little things that brighten up my day.
so i'll think again
" so, im going thru a tough time now. who cares? i have these ppl beside me"

and this post, is dedicated to my fan club(=
most of them probably wun even read this
haha.
but i'll still thank ya'll(=
i will NOT disappoint you!
and strive towards my goal!

LYDIA FIGHTING!!

saraNG hae<3