heys. sorry i keep using blue.
but im still as depressed as ever.
issit the cold or issit just me?
well, i can go back to sch tmr, even though i'd prly look like rudolph and sound like a toad
so i doubt i can play for interhouse games tmr.

anyways, at least i passed amath.
im so helpless i feel like crying, but the tears just cant seem to come.
so i've got 4 subjs now. so what?

i've nv really worried over my future or whatsoever, cuz i always thought everything wld be fine and dandy.
but now im starting to worry, and i hate this worrisome bug in me cuz it's making me to have a depressing week.
and i dont like depressing weeks.
the last time i had one, i kept crying for many days after that.
i worked so hard and these were the results i got?
like seriously, am i dumb or what?
but im not the kind of person who ever thinks im dumb, so i keep thinking that it's cuz im lazy and dint study hard enough.
maybe?

i dun think i mugged hard enough for emath and lit.
and i still feel tt i cld've done a better job for everything in my life.
gosh. i think there's sth wrong with me -.-
i dunno how many times i've said that before
im sick and tired of that stupid mentality i have in me.
i just wanna sit and rot in the sun.
but obviously i cant.

if i get promoted, im gonna mug like mad every single day of next yr till i finish my Os.
I MUST DO WELL IF I GET PROMOTED.
even if i have to retain, i'll still work hard, even though retaining will prly kill all the pride and self esteem i ever had.
gableah. i dun wanna think anymore.
i wish i were dead.
BLECKKKKK