gahhh. im watching wang zi bian qing wa again, and all those memories are flooding back.
the wonders of a 12 yr old girl's memories.
haha.
i feel old now.

primary 6 was so much fun, no respnsiblities.
everything was really happy-go-lucky, as my godbro told me i was at that time.
he told me to always stay that way, but sorry, dun think i can.
not with this life im leading.
this life with so many obstacles and responsibilities.
when i turned 13, that was my turning point. everything went downhill after i turned 13.
my first huge betrayal, my first realisation of my own feelings, the responsibilities that came with those emotions, the first time i had felt so much.

if i could just be granted one wish in my life, it would be for me to turn 12 again.
i wldnt have made all those stupid choices, then maybe i wldnt have met all the ppl i wish i hadnt met.




ahhh. im getting EMOTIONAL! OH NO.
no no no no

but i really wish i was 12 again.
would things be different?
would i be in a much better situation than im in now?
maybe i dint take the correct route that God had planned for me?
cuz of my dumb choices.
cuz of my selfcentredness.
cuz of my greediness.
oh gosh i wish i wasnt that stupid.


i hate thinking about the past.
it makes me depressed.
cuz my past was so happy.
and now, im not really sure if the present or the future's gonna be.
where exactly am i going?
i never even thought of such a question when i was 12.
why do i have to now?
cant i just live a life where i dint have to worry?
i know im not supposed to and all that, but how can i just.. stand there and not worry?it takes alot of faith i understand.
but how am i supposed to have faith at times like this?
maybe it's at times like this where i have to have faith.

some of my friends call me a princess or whatever.
but seriously, i think i used to be more of a princess than i am now.
princesses are happy and carefree right?
they nv had to worry about anything.
everything's planned for them.
now, everything's crashing down, and the plans have been destroyed.
so what do i do?


gah. whatever.
im not depressed or anything.
it's just.
walking down memory lane. haha
brings back good memories.
man, i love those days so much.
i nv knew i could love them.
esp at that time.
maybe i should cherish what i have now, before it disappears soon enough.
i dun wanna grow up! >.<