hey dearies! back to post, and since im in a really good mood today, other than the fact that my stoopid brother abandoned me for his friends ON CHRISTMAS DAY, im relatively happy =D
anyways, i've found out how much i loved and missed my relatives when i went for family gathering ytd. debbie helped a little i guess. cuz i went over to her place since she was my uncle's neighbour -.-
she kept encouraging me, saying "it's not gonna be that bad, they're ur relatives!"
haha stuff like that.
yepps, before ytd night, i dreaded family gatherings, hated the gossips i heard the aunts whispering to each other, hated the dreary conversations my uncles made about finace, golf(like wth?!) and busniess. hated being the "MIDDLE cousin", since im not with the older ones like my sis and co, i was always stuck with the younger ones .
the aunts would always complain that i got fatter/thinner/shorter/taller etc.
and i was always so sick of their nagging commentary that i really hated going for family gatherings.
whatever i did, would always be under the shadow of my sister's
i would never be able to live up to my family's standards.
gosh, seriously what has my hair colour gotta do with my personality-what i used to think.
well, you get the gist.
but now i realise, that it was precisely because i took their comments so seriously and literally, that i felt offended. and seriously, who cares if i cant llive up to their standards? they dint mind, so why should i? they still loved me the same.

when my youngest aunt came up to me ytd to give me a hug before i even greeted her, i felt really loved, and i rmbed the love that i used to give to her.
we used to be pretty close, till a few years ago, when i got into the teen age. haha
get it? teenage? teen-age? hahaha, okay enough lame jokes.

anyways, i realised how much i missed out on love, and i wanted to just soak everything in ytd, so i was SUPER SUPER SUPER happy ytd.
it got to the point till i couldnt sleep -.-
haha, so dumb.

i missed them alot too(=

okays, so im blogging on christmas day again.
hmm. i really miss the days when my whole family could actually get together and go out and have fun. nowadays, we never get to do those stuff anymore.
it's really not fair, being the youngest.
when my sis was at my age, we were still able to go out as a family, but now that i reach 15, im abandoned all alone at home. like how unreasonable is THAT?!
sometimes i wish we could go back to the times when my sister was still UNattached, my bro wasnt that close to his friends yet, and my parents were less busy. then maybe we could go out more often?

anyways, to those of you who complain about going out with your family and stuff? please, just shut up and count your blessings.
i just WISH WISH WISH that i could have that.

oh! i just realised sth.
I DINT GET ANY LOLLIPOPS THIS YEAR )=
bleahhh!
haha nvm i shall go buy VANILLA ones later(=
christmas present to myself(=

that day, i was in the car, and i thought about how i used to have so many questions in my head. i mean, i still do, and all of them unanswered.
the world is filled with questions left unanswered, so many things we want to know, but are never able to figure out.
why is it, that the more i want to forget, the more i remember it?


and i just wanna thank ya'll for all the presents and cards! i really love them! =D
love ya'll too! =D


~where'd you go?i missed you so.